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[quote=Anonymous]Sorry - I don't believe lock down is the way to keep a cheating spouse.  Unless trust is restored - and that includes trusting that they truly love you and are remorseful - this will never work because of oversight and punishment   Healing will take time.    You must understand that you love each other for real - so that may mean a break and time apart.  Or,  just living separate lives for a bit under the same roof.    My dad had an affair in his 40s for multiple years.  I was the youngest of 4 kids.  My mom was devastated and went back to work a night shift at the hospital when I was a baby and he had to stick around and care for me and the other kids.  He worked 9-5, she worked 4-12 - I never saw them together except on the weekends until I was in middle school - to tell you the truth, this was probably a brilliant plan.  Eventually they fell back in  love.  I never even knew about the affair or their troubles until I was in my 40s and I was shocked.  I thought they had always been the perfect couple.  The older kids never told me about it because I was so close with my dad and he basically raised me.  In retirement they were so close and there was so much love.  They were a true love story.  Married 67 years - he died at 94 and she died this year at 93 and couldn't wait to join him.[/quote]

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