Reply to Feeling angry about my husband and 2 kids that never clean up after themselves.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have six kids, and could not live the way you are living.  EVERYTHING. HAS. A. PLACE!  And everyone knows where that place is.  Our house is super organized.  Sure, sometimes crap is left all over, but if I gathered the family and said "Important company is coming in 15 minutes," we could have everything neat and organized.

You need to tell them that they have until July 1st to clean up/throw out their stuff. Starting July 1, if something is left out in your way, you are THROWING IT OUT.  Everyone must clean up after themselves.

(But the key to them being able to do that is knowing where things should go. Put little stickers on shelves in closets saying what goes where if you need to.)[/quote]

OP here.  well this was my plan on how to run this home, but I'm thinking that because my husband doesn't care  the others have learned to be this way as well.  And his reactions over the years when I've mentioned anything have shown them how "ridiculous" I am I guess.  He has gotten angry and spent entire weekends in the garage "cleaning up" but his method does't really solve anything for the long term.No organizational system.  Maybe just a path is created and a few things thrown out.  But the next time someone wants or needs a tool/supplies or anything else, the boxes have to be pulled out, the item found, then the boxes are just left out.  It makes not sense in my logical mind to live like this, and I have no recourse left that I can think of.  They don't even seem to understand the concept I'm trying to get through to them to make a place that MAKES SENSE, then put it back there when you are done.

It's stressful for all of us, because every month or so it reaches a tipping point and hours have to be spent "cleaning up" again.

A good example is that we opened our pool and the box with the parts in it was buried, 5 boxes were taken out to get to that one box, then all 6 boxes were left out all over the garage because we needed one damn part to attach a ladder.   It would be funny if it wasn't so sickening to live with.

[b]How do you get everyone to cooperate? [/b] I would be more than willing to put in the work myself to get it initially organized, but not if it's just going to be ignored and be back where it was a week ago anyway.[/quote]

I've been organized my whole life. So my kids were born into it. My step kids were single-digit ages when we met and they learned fast.  Not cooperating is not an option. Give a warning and then start throwing their shit out. I've had kids cry and scream at me when their stuff is gone. But I tell them "Don't cry to me because you're sad at something you could have avoided. Don't be angry at me - be angry at yourself and then do better next time."  Sometimes instead of throwing their stuff out I just hide it for a few days on top of a closet shelf or something, if I know it's REALLY important to them or something their mom gave them.

Also, we are as minimalist as you can be with so many kids.  So for example, two girls are sitting at the table with art supplies spread all over.  I am in the kitchen making dinner and quizzing another kid on spelling. I tell the girls "In five minutes you need to start cleaning up so Jack can set the table." Six minutes later if they're still applying glitter I say "You have four minutes to have cleaned off the table. Anything left will be thrown out." And if they don't move I have Jack continue cooking while I go and sweep everything on the table into a bag and throw it out.  I won't make one kid toss another kid's stuff - that's my and DH's job. Then when they say two weeks later that they need glitter for their book report cover, I say "You lost your glitter because you didn't put it away. You'll have to decorate your cover using something you DID put away." They don't like it, but it doesn't happen often because they've learned. [/quote]

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