Reply to Inflexible, Perfectionist Parents, How Did You Relax Your Parenting?

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Reply to "Inflexible, Perfectionist Parents, How Did You Relax Your Parenting?"

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[quote=Anonymous]My mom was like that and we have a very complicated relationship now. I have few fond memories from childhood even though there was no abuse or anything. As an adult, I always feel like I am doing something wrong. I over analyze everything and am hyper critical of myself. Which makes sense, since I grew up with someone tellling me how to be better every second of my life. You have to create good memories with your kids.

My parenting philosophy: I strive for 90% positive or neutral statements with them (eg, talking about a sports game or show) and 10% negative. I also think about whether this particular nit will matter in 10 years. If it will, I say something. Otherwise, I let it go. I am also consistent in the things that matter, so I eventually don’t have to tell them. I have certain parts of the house I don’t care about and others I do. I don’t set them up to fail by creating a completely child unfriendly environment. And you will create food issues if you don’t ever let them have junk food.

I sense smugness in your post. You’ll have to decide if your style is worth creating unhappy children who also honestly will dread spending time with you as an adult. It’s not worth it to me. I want to have lifelong relationships with my childhood, and I don’t think I’m raising less perfect children with this approach. [/quote]

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