Reply to Inflexible, Perfectionist Parents, How Did You Relax Your Parenting?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My kids eat all organic, home-made food. Our home is professionally designed and always immaculate.  They get organic, mineral-based sunscreen that takes forever to rub in because the spray is chemical based. The kids each have after school activities that perfectly match their personalities.One gets therapy every week for her anxiety--a three-hour commitment with travel because the very best child psych is in the city.

For all this, I am constantly on edge.  Why are you touching the millwork with greasy hands? Don't you know how hard someone worked to make that? No, I can't watch that movie with you because I'm making homemade hummus because store bought version uses safflower oil, instead of the better-for-you olive oil. Etc, etc.

I would love to have another child, but I can't imagine finding the time. I used to have a nanny and cleaning service, but they just couldn't live up to my standards.

Yes I've seen a shrink. It helped somewhat. She said really, I need meds and that talk can only do so much for a case like mine.  I don't want meds.  I worry about the side effects. Remember when they thought HRT was benign? But dear god, I am so wound up.  I am sorry my kids are constantly being nitpicked and corrected. I envy those parents that blithely dole out cereal bars every morning. Or who let their kids watch youtube, without worrying about commerical influences.

I know I'm practically inviting myself to get flamed, but I don't care about what those parents think. I'd appreciate hearing from people like myself who are inflexible and perfectionist and how/if they overcame that part of themselves.  Or did you just get better after your kids were older.  (I've always been somewhat neurotic which was helpful in my career, but it really ramped up after kids.)  Perhaps parenting is not for people like us?
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This is not something you want to hear, but only meds helped me. I tried everything else. It was only after meds that I realized how disordered and uptight my thinking was, how I was constantly clenched and on edge and how wonderful it is for both myself and my child for me NOT to feel that way. I felt sleepy and in a fog for the first 2 weeks, but once that lifted I instantly became a better, more patient, more engaged parent. There are mild side effects but they are worth it and I would tolerate a lot more for the sake of my child.[/quote]

+1 wishing you the best op, I hope you’ll give it a try [/quote]

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