Reply to DW cosleeping with DS.

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Reply to "DW cosleeping with DS."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]1) There is no "ONE night." That's not how kids work.

2) Do some research. You're starting to feel like this might not be the best parenting philosphy/system (not sure what the right term is) for your family. That's a very reasonable hesitation. Well, what do you think would work better? Start with google. Talk to some friends who you think might have some wisdom on this. Read some books on other philosophies. See if anything resonates. Your wife doesn't just get to dictate how you two will parent. But you also don't just get to step in and veto. If not this, then what? It's not your wife's job to come up with an alternative - you present one. Or a few options.

3) You need to stop with "playing along." That is not a marriage. You need to start being open with your wife that you have doubts about this parenting philosophy/system, and express those doubts. Then listen to her - what does she like about attachment parenting and/or cosleeping? Why is this the way she wants to go? Talk to her about some other options (per #2) that you think might be a better fit. Listen to her concerns. If you are willing to do your part and you both can communicate well, I bet you can find a path that will work for your family.

4) Once you agree on the path for your family, assuming it's different from where you are now (who knows? with research and discussion you might come to agree with her, though it's unlikely to be exactly where you are now) you both work TOGETHER to start moving towards what you want. You gotta do your half of the planning and the implementation.

I do agree with previous posters that you are on a very bad path right now, but you're only 13 months in to this parenting thing - totally understandable, and plenty of time for a course correction. 
[/quote]

+1  This is the best post.

OP you need to understand that if you have a baby-wearing, co-sleeping mom for a wife, she's 1) done research into this and has reasons for it, and 2) likely is part of online communities for support and encouragement to keep it up when things get hard.  Coming in and saying that she needs to stop and be a *healthier parent*, with no real foundation other than "I miss sex in bed at night," is picking a fight with no ammo.  You need to have your own parenting philosophy that is more than just your d*ck is sad that things changed.

Your best angles are 1) you want another baby and the idea of 4 of you in bed is not something you're interested in (also SUPER dangerous for a newborn), and 2) you want your relationship with DS to be just as strong as DW's is.  You are going to need to take the lead on sleep training, which FYI suuuuucks but is necessary to get over this hump.  [/quote]

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