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[quote=Anonymous]OP, there is not usually a lot you can do by confronting this. I mean, you might get lucky, but it gets messy quickly. People are not going to react in straightforward and uncomplicated ways.

I think one feasible option is to cultivate the relationships you care about within this group individually, outside of the group -- so, check in on email or video with specific friends, send a physical letter or something that shows you are thinking of them (a book you discussed that they wanted to read, or nice chocolates to perk up their spirits, etc). Make those interactions about the positive things you share and love, not the negativity in the group. look forward, not back, and strengthen bonds.

If you are with the group or a group conversation and you see someone being excluded, say something about it once -- gently, firmly -- and then decide whether to continue with that plan or interaction, or drop out. "Hey, I really think Larla would like to come, and I don't want to shut her out of our get-togethers." Then drop it. Decide if you still want to go, whether or not your comment changes anything. but keep building and strengthening the good relationships you have.

There doesn't have to be a knockout showdown. This doesn't have to be Big Drama. You can decide what you want and what you feel good about, and keep that, and let the rest fall away. You can't argue other people inti liking or valuing you, or really anyone, but you can lead by example and protect your own boundaries. [/quote]

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