Reply to First time parents and husband is horrible

Forum Index » General Parenting Discussion

Reply to "First time parents and husband is horrible"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]OP--my DH was very freaked out about having kids, and frankly put it off for a long time. A few things really helped: (1) I was on bedrest, so he had to go to the parent class I signed us up for by himself. He said in all the couples the instructor just talked to the woman and the guy just sat there. So stereotypes and learned helplessness were in full play. Because he went by himself he could learn and ask questions without feeling stupid  (2) our DC was born early and had to spend a few days in the nursery, I had delivery complications so he went by himself to visit the baby and the nurses guided him through holding and feeding and diapering. (3) I insisted he take leave after mine ran out and spend time at home with baby. By himself. That is what really cemented things for him. I think from your last note that you are saying that you never leave baby alone with him. You HAVE to do this. And for hours at a time, not minutes. He needs to find his own way.  Was it weird for me when I came home to find DH bouncing baby up and down on the bed and listening to Van Halen? Absolutely. But he figured out what worked for him.

I know you can't do a parenting class now because of distancing, but maybe DH needs some other resources? Some websites? Youtube videos? Some people need specific guidelines--someone gave us a baby book, I wish i could remember the name of it, that showed how you do every little thing with a baby, with diagrams--how to put on a onesie, how to give a bath, three ways to hold a baby to burb it. how to give a baby a bottle. My husband clung to that thing like a bible. I'm sure you can find good websites now but maybe DH needs something like that? 
He sounds like he is generally a good guy, just think about what would be motivating to him and also what his sticking points/barriers are. This sounds totally fixable and I am sure you guys will get through it, you will be looking back in a year and laughing about it. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics