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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is my experience as a "horrible" man,

When I got married, I didn't know how to be a man.  I resisted the many pleading calls from my wife to change. My dad never trained me to be a man, and it unfortunately fell upon my wife and child to do that job.  I do consider myself a man now AND a really good father.  It wasn't easy though.  It took about 5 years.

When I got married and had a child everything for me changed.  It shouldn't be so shocking, but I went through so many changes in a short time, I was unable to cope.

I had to:

-- stop staying up late and spending time with friends
-- work a full time job
-- completely quit marijuana and couldn't drink during the week
-- come home and engage with my family instead of escaping into video games or computers. 
-- listen to a woman tell me what to do a lot more.

It took me about 8 months to bond with my firstborn which is weird because I always wanted a child and people told me I was "good" with kids.

through it all my wife was on my ass the entire time. Thank God for that.  What we call nagging is just a woman's way of telling her partner that they are not doing a good job.

One bit of advice.  BE THE LEADER.  Create the norms and family culture you believe is best and your husband will eventually catch up.  Don't let him get away with not being a man.

Because of my wife, I never stare at my cell in front of my kids.  I always do the dishes at night because I know my wife wakes up and has to get the kids to the bus.  Even though my wife gets frustrated with me, I am able to take responsibility and learn from her.  And she is able to be an even better mom because of me being a better dad.

I know it's unfair, but your husband won't magically learn.  You have to pressure him.

Start leading the way with force.  Nag at him hard.  He knows right from wrong, he just doesn't want to give up his old life. It's worth it though. He will one day realize how lucky he is to have you. [/quote]

You sound like a loser. [/quote]

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