Reply to How does a man getting turned down by his wife feel?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]In my early 30s, I used to be in "problem solving mode" which was 'how can we fix this' - or "I bet this will get better when kids get older

In my late 30s I would get resentful that things never got better.

In my mid 40s I don't initiate and we are on a 3 month drought and I don't really want to have sex with her anymore.  After a while you stop seeing your spouse as a sexual person if they reject you.  I posted elsewhere our marriage is actually somewhat better without the initiation/rejection cycle.  For now, I would rather be celibate and see my kids everyday but I know it's not sustainable in the long term.[/quote]

Very different here.

The desire doesn’t go away, it feels like torture yet I’m not interested in an AP etc, so getting turned down again and again leads to wondering whether DW (60, healthy, hot) cares enough to compromise vs her desires (dwindled to near nothing).   We’re both healthy and I have high sexual desire for her specifically, not interested in APs etc.

But at some point soon I (65, healthy, not overweight, high sex drive) may decide that she/we have to decide to either change the dynamic, or else part. It’s more painful/torture to have your desired lover (after 30+ years still) make themselves unavailable.  I’m not concerned DW is cheating, fwiw.  Nor am I interested in the modern social minefield.[/quote]

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