Reply to DH's lack of independence is so unattractive

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Same same.  It definitely comes from growing up with that kind of dynamic.  My FIL was a distinguished doctor but could not function without MIL.  All he could do was his job.  Couldn't cook, had no idea of finances, like had no idea where he had a bank account or credit cards or how to file taxes.  MIL would give him a credit card, he'd use it and she'd take care of the rest.

DH isn't quite that bad but he expects me to be his assistant in every way.  Like the other day, he had to submit a form to get paid for some independent consulting work he did (he has a salaried job, this was just a side thing).  He wanted me to do it -- it "looked too complicated".  Like basically it had too many words on it, so he threw up his hands and called his wife.  Dude, there were a lot of words because there were explicit instructions and explanations for each section to be filled out.  It was the simplest thing imaginable.

You're right, it is unattractive.  [/quote]

OP here. Your in-laws perfectly describes my in-laws. What your DH asked you to do the other day is exactly what my DH would ask of me. And honestly, it's not that my DH is dumb and [i]can't[/i] do it. He just asks me because it's easier. He also feels the need to include me on every single decision, no matter how small it is, which I think stems from him not wanting to be blamed if it goes wrong/not as planned. It feels good to know I'm not the only one :/[/quote]

NP. Been Married 20 years. At 19 years, I opened a bank account at a different bank. Told DH that he was in charge of paying the mortgage and his credit cards from bank A and I would pay other bills from bank B. OMG, there was so much pushback, but I held firm.

It’s been about 8 months now, and he finally understands his spending habits. I no longer stress about being the CEO, CFO, and Chairwoman of the board.

Of course, it was easier when he could just put his head in the sand, financially speaking, and go about his day. Honestly, I feel so much less stress!

He’s always been one to call and ask me about every purchase-oking it with me-like I had any more of an idea of our finances that he did (or what he should have known). He doesn’t call to get my ok anymore, and when he does, I tell him to do what he thinks his best.

Free yourselves, ladies. It’s so liberating not being in charge of your spouse! [/quote]

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