Reply to DH doesn't meet my emotional needs

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Reply to "DH doesn't meet my emotional needs"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What’s up with the person who keeps saying this is manufactured drama? It’s not outrageous to want a spouse who meets your emotional needs. That’s what marriage is supposed to be about.

It’s in men’s best interest to meet their partner’s needs. My SO meets mine so I meet his. Usually 2-3 times a day. [/quote]

Not that PP. In fact that pp used that phrase to describe my post and I definitely do not manufacture emotional needs.

But you have to remember that emotional needs are almost entirely a female concept on which bored females dwell (yes I am female). You need to cut it in half and throw it out. Lighten up. You dig yourselves deeper and deeper into misery if you dwell on things excessively.

Find some fricking joy people![/quote]

PP here, and I think that’s kind of BS. I mean, you could also say sexual needs are a male concept on which bored males dwell, and they should cut it in half and quit dwelling.

I’m not saying I expect my partner to hold me while I cry an hour a day. But he takes a genuine interest and always makes time for me if I need it. In return, I happily have sex whenever he wants. [/quote]

I don't think it BS. Dumb women who aren't intellectually stimulated use all their mental power thinking up problems and needs. [/quote]

That’s actually an insightful concept. When I became disabled, I had to stop working. I went from high functioning applied use of intellect to my time being consumed with pain, medical procedures, fighting with insurance , etc. Even now that this is my “normal” I don’t have engagement to stimulate my brain like I used to, and I did become emotionally much needier. I didn’t like it, and so I would try to engage DH in the evenings in intellectually stimulating conversations, but he needs the evenings to turn his brain off to detox from work. (and honestly my neediness.) I would get resentful of being denied the opportunity to change my stuck pattern by having those conversation with him, and viewed him as withholding that from me. Really I need to find another way to get the brain stimuli I need during the day, so I’m calmer at night, and not so dependent on him for my interaction. Thank you, PPs. 
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