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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP- just want to say as someone who spent way too long with a guy who I loved desperately, who was never fully *there* with me: It's so much better and easier with someone who can't wait to live with you and share your lives.

You love this guy, he makes you happy when you're together - but he makes you very unhappy a lot of the time, too. It doesn't have to be like this.

I don't usually go in for ultimatums, and I don't think you should do that here, either. It just shouldn't be this hard. You shouldn't feel like expressing your love and commitment to someone - after this long together - is going to doom your relationship.

Dump this guy. Give yourself some time to grieve. Then go out and find yourself a partner who is really a partner to you.

I'm sorry - I know how hard this is. TRUST me I know. If you let go now, you give yourself a chance for something better.

[/quote]

^ Me again - I should have said. I did meet, and marry, the guy who was all in with me when I was in my mid-30s. It was later than a lot of people get married. I am glad I waited. This guy I married tells me he loves me a hundred times a day. Life isn't like walking around in heaven on a cloud - certainly, we have our issues, too - but I never, ever, ever doubt his commitment to me. You can find this, too. I know you can. There is a guy out there who will be over the moon happy to get love notes from you in his laptop case, and you deserve that guy.[/quote]

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