Reply to Are you a mom who had a close relationship with your teenage DS?

Forum Index » General Parenting Discussion

Reply to "Are you a mom who had a close relationship with your teenage DS?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]^Some women just don't want to be around MILs no matter what though -- no matter how nice or kind or helpful they are. I'm seeing it right now with a friend of mine who is getting married. MIL is across the country and is just trying to get to know my friend w/o being overly involved -- not telling her what type of dress to get, not inviting herself to wedding planning things etc. Yet if she so much as sends an email or a text, friend -- who is nice to EVERYONE else -- gets an attitude and tells fiance to deal with his own mother etc. There is literally nothing that side of the family can do that will ever be seen as right -- doesn't matter how nice or kind or helpful they are or how much they bend over backwards. PP may be right though -- might be because she has her own very functional family, is close with her own mother/grandmother, has 4 siblings of her own etc. -- so she DOES she it as, why do I need DH's family?? May be different if you have a family that provides something that your DS's family doesn't. But in any event -- a son's a son until he takes a wife. You can call me a terrible future MIL all you want, but this is what I've seen happen over 90% of the time.
[/quote]

This is definitely true. Many (most?) women are like this at least here in the US where marriage isn't thought to be a joining of families type of event. I have seen the sweetest/nice to anybody friends, cousins etc. just straight up rude to MILs/SILs etc. even when those MILs/SILs are saying things that they'd be perfectly fine hearing from literally anyone else. And yes you're right often it is women who have very full family and friend lives before marriage so they feel they just need the man, not his family; and because the DHs sort of just shrug along and don't want to make waves in their own marriages, they becomes self fulfilling. I'm of a - marriage = joining of families - type culture so different experience as you had to deal with the inlaws whether you liked it or not and in my culture DHs do side with their mommies for life so that gets old too; but really I'd love for DS (all of 6 mos old LOL) to marry in our culture not because I need him to side with me but because I'd like his nuclear family to be a legit part of ours not just some obligation on a calendar; but given that this is all 3ish decades away, who knows.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics