Reply to Therapist Won't Condemn my Partner's Affair.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Therapists don’t “condemn” behavior. That’s not their job.[/quote]

This is true.

But, OP, I sympathize, and I went through something similar with DH and therapy. The therapist is making sure she doesn’t “choose sides” and she’s teaching you both to work this out on your own (with her guidance).

In my case I did, after many months, get the admission that what DH did was wrong, and it felt far far more genuine and healing than if the therapist had just asserted from the beginning that his behavior was wrong. [/quote]

OP, this is really important to think about. Your spouse being forced to admit wrongdoing at this juncture with a therapist is not going to be meaningful, and you won't really feel any better if spouse admits being wrong right now. Your therapist rightly needs to help you and spouse get there and not be the driver of this. This therapist needs to get to know you both a little bit better to help conduct you on the right path for healing your relationship (if that is what you want).

Stay the course and good luck. I know you are likely feeling terribly hurt and betrayed. For someone who has been through this, I know it can get better. Things won't be easy, but you can come out on the other side and still have a loving marriage. My marriage is not perfect, but I know how we got to that place and my DH and I are both committed to not getting there again. [/quote]

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