Reply to Therapist Won't Condemn my Partner's Affair.

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Reply to "Therapist Won't Condemn my Partner's Affair."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The therapist is there to support you both in communicating your feelings to each other and helping you to address problems in your relationship. That is next to impossible if one of you believes, correctly or incorrectly, that the therapist is taking sides.

If you will not participate in therapy without the therapist being "on your side" and vocally condemning your partner's affair, you are not ready for therapy. An individual therapist may be in order before you are ready for couples work.[/quote]

I’m not sure I totally agree. There are cases where one party is indeed a victim, and the therapist needs to make space for that truth. [/quote]

+1. My sister's husband in a black out drunk stage shoved her into a wall.This is the one time in their 22 years together that he ever laid a finger on her. I think everyone can agree that it was wrong.[/quote]

I am the first PP. The therapist can make space for OP's truth while also allowing OP's partner to have space. Otherwise what is the point of couples therapy?
[/quote]

Totally agree that the therapist needs to be able to validate her feelings as well instead of shutting them down.  She needs to feel safe and she definitely isn’t getting that support.  The therapist can also start to get the husband to discuss why he’s there, I.e. if he wants to save marriage, he will need to show some kind of remorse/regret.  If he doesn’t feel that, explain to the wife what this means and possible next steps.

If you’re not comfortable with this therapist and how he/she addresses your concerns, you should find someone else.  I personally think the therapist isn’t doing a good job and would find someone else.[/quote]

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