Reply to Therapist Won't Condemn my Partner's Affair.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sorry if I wasn't clear. My partner had an affair. I only discovered because I saw their texts. We decided to try counseling. Partner has yet to apologize or admit they were wrong.

On first visit, the therapist said they were not in a position to make judgement on whether the affair was wrong.

I need there to be an admission and recognition of wrongdoing in order to proceed toward forgiveness.

I was raised that you apologize when you're wrong.[/quote]

No, you were clear. But you don't need the therapist to say your husband was wrong. You shouldn't expect it, and I think the therapist was right not to provide it. Why are you going to therapy? To get an apology from your husband? Admission from your husband that his behavior was wrong? To move forward in your marriage? In any way is the therapist's statement that your husband was wrong going to get you to those points? No. Your husband needs to apologize and feel bad for what he did.

You need an admission and recognition of wrongdoing to proceed toward forgiveness ... since you have nothing to forgive the therapist for, then I don't think he/she needs to tell you there was wrongdoing.

I do think you might benefit from some individual counseling, though. And lean on your friends to tell you that your husband is a dirty rat bastard. Not your therapist. No way having a biased therapist is going to help your husband come to the conclusion that he made a mistake. Your husband has to do that on his own. You guys ganging up on him to tell him he's wrong isn't productive.[/quote]

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