Reply to Is it reasonable to ask your parents what your inheritance expectations should be?

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I think the reason that so many people have jumped all over you on this thread was that your original question comes off as you asking what you'll get in the event that something happens to your parents. I am going to assume that your question comes not from a place of selfishness and greed, but from a genuine concern for what will happen during what is a completely inevitable event.

My grandmother died recently after a prolonged battle with cancer. In keeping with her general personality, she was in denial of her condition until the bitter end. She had a basic template of a will, that left everything to her husband. This is, of course, her prerogative, but it has led to a situation where a man who is basically incapacitated with grief is having to do all the estate planning post-hoc. It would have made the situation a lot easier if things had been spelled out in a comprehensive will, put together to spell out specific accounts and assets, rather than a general "All my earthly possessions I leave to my spouse" type of document.  The lengthy process of getting everything in order has resulted in an even more prolonged period of grieving than would otherwise have taken place, in my opinion.

And this is a simple situation of a couple who have never been married to anyone else and who only have one child. It is also a situation that could have been anticipated from the day she received her terminal diagnosis, and her total denial that it would ever come to this is, in my opinion, extremely cowardly. (Yes, anger is a stage of grieving.)

I would never have asked her what my inheritance expectations should be. I would definitely never have asked if they should factor into my retirement plans. In your situation, however, with multiple siblings, one of whom will need long term care, it is reasonable to ask about estate planning. Just don't frame it like you want to know how much of their money is coming to you, or it WILL be as rude as the PPs think it is.[/quote]

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