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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My MIL is like yours and we did have to cut her off for a year when she was at her most abusive towards us. She also once snuck into our house and cleaned it. There are a few great books about dealing with mothers who are abusive or narcissistic and I’d suggest reading those since it gave me a great map for dealing with my MIL.

I’d suggest not focusing on the cleaning and more on the big-picture boundaries that you’d like to establish. The cleaning can be an unhelpful distraction—if she’s like my MIl, if you focus on the cleaning she’ll launch into her rant about how none of us appreciate her and how she’s sacrificed so much for her kids.[/quote]

This is such a great point. I’m having a hard time convincing dcum that this isn’t about helping me. Never has she asked 7-months-pregnant with #4 me if she could run an errand or something. It’s about control, and making my environment hers.[/quote]

And our point is that no one is bad 100% of the time, and you can use her foibles to your advantage.

But you are determined to read bad intentions in everything she does. Oh well.

[/quote]

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