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[quote=Anonymous]DD does better when she's asked (me), than when she's told (DH).  Other kids do better when told, than asked.  IF one is not working, and I always start with asking, then you shift to the other.  I agree that there should be consequences.

I have on one occasion, gathered up everything that DD had made a mess of, and thrown it out (or donated; can't remember now).  It never happened again.  If she doesn't wash her dishes, she gets served her next meal in the same dirty dishes.  Again, I had to do that once.

My 9 year old now makes her bed in the morning after she gets dressed for school.  She can make herself breakfast, if I'm busy.  She will at least put her dishes in the sink without being asked, and will often wash them, dry them, and put them away.  99% of the time, if there are other dishes in the sink, she will take care of those as well.  We cook together, so she'll help me with chopping and meal prep.  She's by no means perfect, but she's becoming a pretty responsible kid.  It has taken effort on my part, but being consistent and kind (most of the time) and drawing the line (occasionally) has yielded the best results.[/quote]

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