Reply to Wife chronically depressed, blames everyone everything for her unhapiness&unfullfillment, I want out

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Reply to "Wife chronically depressed, blames everyone everything for her unhapiness&unfullfillment, I want out"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What the hell? Everyone laying on this poor OP because he's a man. DCUM is so disgustingly sexist sometimes. If this was a woman you all would be telling her she needs to leave him since he won't take the opportunity to help herself and the weight of breadwinning AND child rearing AND household duties is falling on her. But no common sympathy for this OP. OP, try getting her meds changed and another few months of therapy and then issue an ultimatum. Her mental issues can no longer be your weight to bear if she's not trying to help herself and otherwise not contributing to your household at all. What about YOUR mental health? Your kids deserve at least one healthy, stable, contributing, positive parent.[/quote]

+1 million

OP, you need to quietly see a lawyer so you know what you would be signing up for in divorce. You need to know, for instance, if you will be required to pay alimony and whether you can get full custody of your kids. Find a lawyer you can work quietly with for years, because this will likely be a multi-year project.

I have a good friend with a mentally ill DH who emotionally unstable, is verbally abusive to their kids (who show clinical signs of PTSD), and is unwilling to work or do anything around the house. Like you, my friend does everything. I am genuinely worried the stress is going to kill her. But she lives in CA, and when she quietly talked to a lawyer, she learned that he would likely get at least 50% custody (even with documented verbal abuse and her children's therapists recommending against it) and she'd have to pay him lifetime alimony. So she stays, trying to protect her kids from him as best she can. She has them in therapy, but the kids are struggling. It's a giant mess, with no good answer. She periodically talks to a lawyer and will likely eventually divorce when the kids are older (even with the lifetime alimony).[/quote]

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