Reply to Angry Mean Nasty Dementia

Forum Index » Eldercare

Reply to "Angry Mean Nasty Dementia"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I truly hope in the future we see more and more continued care facilities popping up and even better regulations to make sure they are good (and better pay for caregivers). It has been nothing short of hell dealing with my parents "aging in place" which really means a huge burden on me. They are nasty, difficult, belligerent and cheap and my siblings just care about preserving an inheritance. They fire people hired to work with them. I wish they had started in continued care when they were independent and we could just move them along as needed and hire mediators to help them get along. I think for the truly difficult elderly we are slowly killing off the younger generation that has to deal with their awful behavior.[/quote]

Mine are still independent but this exact scenario is most definitely in my future.... Any advice?[/quote]

I find being direct with parents-at least mine doesn't work. Instead I have to say "so and so's parents moved to this amazing continued care facility. They both were involved in caring for their own elderly parents and didn't want to put their adult children through the misery the went through. It has been a dream. The adult children visit a lot because they can enjoy their parents and not have to worry about taking them to appointments, pushing them to get help, etc. It is all taken care of within the facility."

Have strong boundaries. I got sucked into a lot of stuff and at first they were appreciative, but the more I did the more they expected. I ended up feeling burned out and resentful and then I got labelled selfish for setting limits. I should have been less available from the start.

Ask around about local resources now so you are not starting from scratch when you need to hire nurses, transport, etc.

Read about early signs of dementia, etc. Find out who their doctors are so you can call them when concerned. Confronting my parents ended up with rage fits. You have to circumvent them if they are difficult and nasty. The evaluation is essential because then it becomes doctors orders to stop driving, stop cooking on the stove, etc. They get these evals kicking and screaming if they are anything like my parents.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics