Reply to How do you divorce an alcoholic wife?

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, if wife has been in and out of rehabs over 3 years it
sounds like she is very hard core and unwilling to change
at this point.

Why is your brother waiting 5 years?

1.  Encourage him to see a counselor for him, not the
marriage, that specializes in alcoholism in families.
2.  Have him see a lawyer that specializes in
divorces when a partner has substance abuse.
Generally with alcoholic partners the judge can
require a breathalyzer https://www.soberlink.com/ type of test prior to
each custody visit.  The judge can also require
gadgets that she has to blow into on her car.
3.  Have your brother start logging alcoholic behavior
and how it affects the children.  Is she passed
out at lunch so that kids don't get a meal?
Is she driving intoxicated?  Is she passed out on the
toilet?  Don't log her alcohol consumption, honestly
that does not matter, log the results.
If she shows up drunk at school functions and
police are called get the police reports.
4.  I'm not big on cell phones and kids but this
is one case make sure the oldest has a cell phone
and Dad's numbers programmed in and also
the grandparents numbers programmed in.

If the alcoholic spouse is pretty far gone and it
sounds like your brother's wife is a lot of times
the courts will rule the non alcoholic is
the primary custodian of the children and the
alcoholic gets visitation but your brother
can specify in the divorce that his wife has
to blow sober in the soberlink device before
she gets her visits.  This varies by state
and your brother needs a legal consult.

If your brother takes the children and moves out
to an apartment this will once in awhile force
permanent sobriety but even this is rare.

I'd find out why your brother wants to wait 5 years.
Believe me, as a child having a parent passed out
at 10:30 am in the morning is no picnic.

I've seen kids in Alateen at ages 10-12 so that is
a future resource for the children.

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