Reply to Discussion: What actually matters to you about your club and coaches?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]1. Of your player gets benched, there’s probably a reason behind it.

2. If it’s a long term thing and you get no clarity which clearly isn’t cool, then leave. There’s no shortage of clubs and teams.

“Benching” on its own isn’t bullying, but it could be a byproduct of it. The only place where you are guaranteed playing time is in Rec.

Part of the problem too is that the culture is soft. Deluded parents whose child can do no wrong are bullies, everything is the coach/teammates’ fault. If their kids are disciplined, it’s bullying or personal. I don’t think so.[/quote]

Such a typical American response.  I'm not talking about kids who are doing something wrong.  More often than not, it is the kids who show up 5 minutes before the game or the kids who miss practice who don't get benched because they are the stronger players.  The ones with something to prove are always early.  I also have no problem with unequal playing time on a competitive team.  However, particularly at younger ages, which I would say probably go up to U15, if you accepted money from the parents, put the kid on the team, and the kids is working hard in practice, has a good attitude, and is doing what is asked of him, that kid should get some playing time.  Sorry, it is not soft to say that it is unacceptable for a coach of a non-DA or ECNL team to make a kid travel 2 hours to a game and then not give him one minute of playing time. If a kid is so far from the level of the team that there is no way he can safely play in the game, he shouldn't be on the team.

That's exactly what is wrong with soccer in this country. How is that smaller and slower kid who hasn't hit puberty going to get better if he never plays?  He has to try to work on his own and find other opportunities, but that is difficult when 5 hours of each day of your weekend is spend on games.  Your philosophy is why there is a relative age effect and why so many late bloomers leave the sport entirely.  Trust me, even mentally tough kids with reasonable parents end up less motivated and discouraged when they work as hard as they can but can't get in games. In most clubs, it is more important to win playing the man-child who runs through everyone than to give a smaller, slower kid who is more technical a few minutes on the field.

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