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[quote=Anonymous]OP, it sounds like you’re a person who shows love through giving, and you imagined this trip would be a great way to share some love with your kid. That’s a lovely, lovely gesture. It just isn’t compatible with your 13-year-old. We gift givers are kind of like people who like hugging. That’s so great if the other person loves hugging, but we have to learn to be really attuned to people who a) don’t want a hug and b) will only pretend to want a hug because they care about our feelings. A 13 year old going through total  personal upheaval and away from his friends on a trip with a suite upgrade is just a 13 year old going through total personal upheaval and away from his friends alone in a suite.

Frankly, suites are for sex. That’s the point. So you don’t have to leave the room. And meetings I guess.

Here’s a suggestion: cancel the trip, and give him the cash equivalent of his share, or whatever amount is right for birthday gifts to you. Tell him he’s 13 and you know he has his own priorities, and you want him to be able to use that budget how he wants (maybe he has to tell you so you can order, for safety). Do a family dinner with cake and singing to celebrate the birthday.

As he gets older, you can still take him on trips - but they’re for the family to spend time together, not an “alternative gift” or a “reward.” [/quote]

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