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General Parenting Discussion
Reply to "How did you get your partner to understand a bedtime routine for your family?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So if you say “hey Brad can you do bedtime while I wash dishes” or “hey Chet can you get Larlo into his PJs” Or whatever...what happens? I’m having trouble imagining exactly how this goes down.[/quote] He won't do it. That is what is going on here. I ask him, he knows I need help. I wake up in the middle of the night to do the dishes and make lunches. He knows this and does not care.[/quote] He just says no? Honestly, if you can’t sit down and talk to him about this — “dude, what the eff, this is your family and you need to be involved!” and he won’t go to counseling, I’d dump his butt. And I’m not one of the frequent “divorce him” posters. That kind of contempt is poisonous. [/quote] This. I will tell you what I did, OP. I took half of the money out of our joint account and put it in a personal account. I deposit additional funds in it monthly. In addition, I met with a divorce attorney and got some basic information about likely custody and child support arrangements given our particular situation. Then I made it clear to my husband that he can keep his money, get to see his kids daily, have the nice house, sex with his lovely wife, and dinner every night, go to our kids weddings together, see our grandchildren together, etc etc. or he can lose all of those things and live on his own with child support payments and physical custody a few weeks a year. But either way, he is going to have to figure out how to do the laundry and the bedtime routine. After that, I took a planned trip to see my sister while he took a couple of days off of work and took care of the kids. The difference was AMAZING. Our household is so much calmer, we hardly ever fight, and his relationship with the kids is so much better. [/quote]
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