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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
not OP, but I'll give a recent example I encountered.  My DD just joined an activity, it was something that required an audition so she was really excited she made it.  There were other girls who had done it in the past, and new girls like DD.  We go to the first meeting of this and we end up walking with first with one new girl and three returning girls and their parents.  Both new girls didn't know the returnees, but it just so happens that the other new girl's family is prominent in some way (I won't say how because that will out her).  One of the moms gets all excited and get the returning girls' attention and waits dramatically until they all turn to her:  "Girls! girls!  Attention please, I want you all to really welcome Larla, who is new this year!  Let's all give a big welcome to Larla!"  And she goes over and starts introducing each of them.  Meanwhile, my DD and I are just standing there too, clearly the other new people there in the small room, clearly left out.  [b]I'm thinking, wow, are we invisible? [/b] [/quote]

But do you just think those thoughts and disappear into the curtains? Or do you actually introduce yourself? When I'm super friendly and sometimes people stare at me incredulous that I've "broken through the other side," and they can't believe I'm talking to them. If you want people to talk to you and your kid, you're going to have to start doing some talking. Are you simply waiting for invitations to things to pour in? Then you might be waiting a long time. Why not organize and invite others? Some people expect to do nothing and just take and then they wonder why people aren't giving to them.[/quote]

No I didn't just slink away, I just stood there for a few beats, thinking "surely she will acknowledge us in some way, even if it's just an afterthought, because to do otherwise is just glaringly rude....nope, that's what she intends to do."  Then I turned around and introduced myself and my DD to another parent and then more people started coming in.  They seemed normal and friendly and we had good chats.

I am friendly and nice.  I have been in the position of the old-timer welcoming new people and I try to include everyone.

Of course, people can step forward and take initiative to introduce themselves, but it doesn't excuse rudeness when people purposely include some (whom they deem socially advantageous to know) and exclude others.  [/quote]

OP, here's the thing. I've been where you are. If you are a nice person who, if the tables were turned, would make an effort to make a newcomer feel welcome, you have trouble understanding why others would make so little effort to include you and your daughter.  You wouldn't act any other way, but reality is that many people are selfish, self absorbed, and not interested in exhibiting any level of kindness unless it benefits them in some way. You can't change people like that, and, as you have seen with these responses, if you question their lack of courtesy, they will tell you it is your problem.

Continue being nice, friendly, and approachable and hopefully you can find some parents to connect with who are more like you.  And you never know. Perhaps you caught some of these parents on a bad day. Keep an open mind.  [/quote]

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