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[quote=Anonymous]What difference does the reason make? Either you do or you don’t want her to live there. Period. It is OP and her DH’s right to decide. Their family unit and abode is private and they are entitled to their space. They are allowed to say, we just want to continue in our goals right now, and we are concerned that you would put that at risk. It could be a spiritual, emotional, physical, financial - whatever. Sorry, you don’t put your house on the market, agree and settle, barge in and overrun my home physically and emotionally with an I.o.u. Claim ticket for some major life change. It’s unfair and emotionally manipulative to play the position as a weaker parent. A loving parent won’t tax their child - they understand and nurture. OPs mom doesn’t sound like this. Some mothers you’d love to be there, baking oatmeal cookies without the raisins, folding laundry, going for walks on the trail with the dog to the park.

But I have dealt with abuse, so perhaps my thinking is uncommon in that it is totally healthy and within OPs right to say she isn’t comfortable with living arrangements changing in any way for her family right now. She can also offer a few rent to own options or look at nice condos or pay for a professional consultation on her new snapshot. But it doesn’t sound like OPs mom would commit to this.

Abuse is a very difficult cycle to break. You have to have firm boundary lines. Witnessing abuse and alcoholism, marriage transition at 14, remarriage to another abuser, divorce - all witness to a developing 36-month old child while preparing for another.

I also think if Mom moves in the current alcoholic BF will be there all the time.

Just, no.[/quote]

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