Reply to What will happen if we don't pay DC's tuition bill this semester?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP if you're actually thinking about cutting your daughter off, at least wait till end of spring semester and message her now that you'd like to go into therapy with her or work with therapists separately with the goal of working through your issues, and that you need to have progress by the end of the year if she wants you to keep paying for stuff.  Be loving and kind, be willing to look at your own mistakes and issues, and show her that peace is the better path and will ensure her college degree.  Let go and work towards a relationship.  It's more important than the money.  If you're leasing vehicles for your daughter you can afford her college degree, but if you insist on an ultimatum, at least give her the year at school.[/quote]

I love this post. [/quote]

NP. I am not confident that OP is able, right now, to hear what the very measured and thoughtful post above is saying. But I hope that OP can return to this thread when calmer and reconsider the scorched-earth approach and embrace this PP's approach instead. That will require OP to be able to step back objectively from the clearly powerful anger she or he is feeling in the posts above. We don't know the specific reasons for that anger (citing "lying and cocksure" and lack of gratitude aren't specific) but whatever happened--it surely goes beyond one ugly summer at home, doesn't it, OP? If DD always was an ingrate, that could use some dealing with in therapy as PP says. And if not, and this past summer's attitude was new and a change in DD's personality--that's a huge red flag that something else major was and is going on, besides mere "cocksureness." Why burn down the relationship, and the life-changing impact of a college degree, without first trying to see what might lie behind the problem behavior? [/quote]

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