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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My gosh, I have such positive feelings about family matriarchs. I guess it’s cultural. I’m mixed AA. For my extended family to have elder women as a resource speaks volumes about resilience and strong bonds of kinship. My grandmother never had a lot of money, but she had wisdom, endless love, the ability to conjure amazing meals out of scraps, patience, and just an all-around healing presence. She was a leader in our community. Of course, we all gathered in her home for holidays and other meaningful events. When she passed away, no one else immediately emerged to lead the family and we all drifted away. The next two decades saw some bad times. My mom isn’t cut out temperamentally to handle being matriarch and her sister is too ill. My cousins and I would love to give our kids that same experience, but I think it’s too late.

Just last month, I witnessed over 200 people travel from 20 states and three nations to honor a distant relative by marriage turning 75. Standing on DH’s family land that her own grandfather defended from the KKK and looking out at teachers, lawyers, engineers, doctors, bankers, authors, government officials, and law enforcement officers in the family she led filled me with awe.[/quote]

So there are no men in your family of your mother’s generation? Why can’t any of them host, invite, cook, foster family relationships?

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Only one uncle left alive and he is senile. Next oldest male relative is a cousin of mine who is 60 and his third wife is not interested in socializing with his family of origin. They see her family on holidays.[/quote]

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