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[quote=Anonymous]	Why, op, do you want to live this way? It sounds miserable.

If you two can get along well enough to want to live together, then you can fix the marriage. It's probably that you don't have the tools and resources to do this, it's actually easy to find all types of ways to end a marriage, and very little to rebuild and sustain one.

First, be nice to each other. Be kind. Be physically affectionate. Do as many activities together as you can.  If he likes to volunteer, join him, even if it's not something you'd normally do.  My husband is a Democrat and I offered to join him when he wanted to volunteer with the local Democrats.  I am a Republican.  I wanted to know why he wanted to volunteer, and why he liked the Democrats' position on issues. You can't really get a sense of that without seeing someone doing something they really care about.  I wasn't going to change his mind, or to have my mind changed, I simply wanted to be there with him. Your husband's job will be to do similar things for you, and you both need to convey to the people you interact with that you are each other's beloved and main priority.

Second, do date activities. Don't discuss the money aspects unless it is truly more then you can afford. Example, my husband wasn't sure why I wanted to see totally in the 2017 Great American Eclipse. He couldn't understand what was so special about 2 minutes and 30 seconds of darkness. We went, and had a wonderful time. He desperately wanted to see Hamilton, and I wasn't sure what the fuss was about. We went, and it was wonderful to the point we have been reading about the American Revolution and listening to the sound track for a long time now.

Third, do wholesome activities with your kids that focus on the family. We like to go to a cat cafe and play with the cats. We also do day trips, and we've started watching movies after church. If you guys thrive off of sports, that's fine, but if you are looking at the weather forecast hoping that Saturday's game gets canceled each week, sports aren't wholesome for your family.  This is doubly so if you are arguing about who's turn it is to take the kids to games and practice, or if the games and practices are interfering with your sexy time.

Realize that there are whole industries that exist to dissolve marriages, and there are industries that are designed to create weddings, but once the wedding is over, there really is no place you can go that will help you sustain or fix a marriage. Don't forget this.

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