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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]"PP here, and there was a problem with both the content and the amount. Way beyond Playboy pictures. And a large volume. "

What does this mean, specifically? Non consensual porn?

Because it does sound like you created a cycle of forbidding and hoarding.

Unless it was violent rape fantasy porn(and even then...the key word is FANTASY) what kind of message did you send your kid by telling him he needs therapy and  sanctions  for viewing sexual content?

You have the aura of sounding like you are doing right, but I don't think so...[/quote]

I’m not going into the content.[b] But almost no parent would be okay with it. [/b]

And if I have the aura of doing the right thing, it’s because I am really struggling right now to do the right thing. And I don’t know what that is.   It’s a hard situation. Maybe I should have left it alone.  But it didn’t feel like it was headed anywhere good.

And the kid wasn’t forced into therapy. That wouldn’t work for a teen. [b]And therapy isn’t a punishment and should never be thought of as a punishment[/b]. It’s someone outside the family who helps solve problems the parents can’t solve alone.[b] My kid was told we we thought this was a bad situation for everyone and we wanted to get some professional help.[/b] And agreed to it.  He had worked with a therapist for a year in ES on something completely unrelated.  Parents also meet with the kid and the therapist once a month and consider feedback about what we can do.

Parenting teens is just hard sometimes.  In the end, we’ll never know for sure if we are doing the right thing. [/quote]

Okay., The first really does matter. I am not going to ask you to go into it, but there is almost no porn, (child porn aside because this is proven to indicate predilection)  that should lead you to think your child needs therapy. Even the really gross stuff, like stepmother/stepson and bestiality and bondage. These are fantasies/ cathartic releases. People are born with fetishes and weird proclivities. It doesn't mean they want to really f#ck their mom or the family dog. Again, child porn aside.

Of course therapy is not a punishment. But the messaging is there regardless: I have weird fantasies I want to indulge safely, mom and dad won't let me and go way overboard keeping me from it, and now think I need therapy to "fix myself."

Hopefully, your therapist is hoping your son see all this clearly and let him know that his fantasies do not mean he is broken.

Secondly, it sounds like you have lots of other issues to handle other than the porn, and while you are posting here about porn and sound lovely and well-intentioned, your issues seem tangential to porn itself.

Even if you made the porn a totem for all of your son's problems.

Now, on the off chance your son WAS watching child pornography, you should listen to this. There is support out that there keeps people from becoming offenders and ruining lives with fantasies.
https://www.thisamericanlife.org/522/tarred-and-feathered[/quote]

He can look at any and all porn when he’s 18 and pays his own bills. Except child porn. Mom and Dad don’t have to approve or fund it before then. Their house, their rules. [/quote]

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