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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Honestly OP, this has been the issue with our teenage son since about age 14.  Now 17.  And no, I don’t really talk to other moms about it.

In my kids case, he’s been open to us about struggling with his sexuality.  My guess is he’s bisexual. Maybe he’s gay and doesn’t want to admit it to himself.

This was an ongoing, every time we restricted, he found a way around it thing. We put on a blocker, he got around it. We took the phone, he got it back and the porn was back.

He’s working with a therapist who is a younger guy who specializes in adolescent boys.  He’s says it’s really helpful, but he isn’t ready to talk to us about his sexuality yet.  We’re here when he is.  He recently told me maybe he could see himself having kids one day. Which tells me he can start to envision a healthy relationship with someone.  And thats encouraging.

Otherwise great kid, BTW.  No substances. Great grades and. SATs, nice person. Just this.

We try to model a healthy relationship and make it clear that sex is not like porn.  Discuss consent and healthy relationships.

At 17, we are now loosening up on electronic restrictions, because we don’t have a choice.

I agree porn is a huge problem and unhealthy.  But people saying it’s bad, so stop him need to realize how hard it is to stop a determined kid who needs a laptop for school, and that if you don’t deal with the reasons they want porn, content blocking isn’t enough.

If someone has other suggestions, I’m all ears. [/quote]

If he’s an otherwise good person and he isn’t spending hours a day looking at porn, let it go. He’s going to be 18 soon and then you can’t do anything, anyway.

I’m guessing he doesn’t want to talk to you about his sexuality because you freak out over minor things. [/quote]

PP here, and there was a problem with both the content and the amount.  Way beyond Playboy pictures.  And a large volume.

And my kid is open (to us, not the whole world) about the fact he isn’t sure he’s heterosexual. After working with his therapist for a while, he’s also said that because he goes to a smaller, gossipy HS with a lot of kids intermeshed, he’d rather wait until college to date and explore his sexuality. I think that’s sad, but ultimately smart. No one at his HS would think less of him for being bi or gay. But, it would stand out and the label would stick and it would be the first thing people thought of him.

I react strongly when a strong reaction is called for. The type and amount of porn, and the singleminded sneaking around to continue to access it, called for a strong reaction.  By which I mean getting some professional help, not beating the kid.    His sexual identity, whatever it turns out to be does not. [/quote]

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