Reply to How do you handle DH being on a different page when it comes to parenting style

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[quote=Anonymous]With the limited information your provided it is unclear if you DH just lays around allowing everything to crumble around him, or if he is a good and loving father who cares about the major things and lets the lesser things slide.

If it is the former, then i would suggest counseling and discussions about where you BOTH can compromise and find common ground you will both enforce.

if it is the latter then I would applaud him for being a wonderful father. You can't force someone to parent exactly how you want. You can expect a certain 'buy in' and common ground, but you need to respect his ideas and thoughts (unless they put the kids in danger) as much as he should respect yours. Compromise isn't about 'giving' in to the other, it is about finding what works best for your entire family and letting go of your old way of doing things (no resentment).

He shouldn't have to hide things from you (turning off the tv) because that sets it up to show the kids that we need to hide stuff from mom or she will flip out. You need a stable environment with some basic rules that keep everyone safe, but as your kids age you need to teach them the skills they need for independence. 
Don't be the parent that has a page long of rules and expectations and judges anyone who dares to question or break them. No one wants to be around that person and you will never be the "FUN" parent. I don't even think that is a compliment really. While i am fun and the kids and I have a blast together they don't go around calling me the 'fun' parent. I would much rather be the respected parent. The parent they can trus and the parent who is always there for them. 
Right now it sounds like they will avoid you like the plague when they get older and actually start (gasp) hanging with friends drinking soda and pizza. OH NO!!! Or when they try smoking or drinking, or want to get felt up by a boy. They will NOT come to you. I can guarentee you this. You need to lighten up, enjoy this ride and realize there is more to parenting than a 7 oclock bedtime being enforced.

Don't be 'that' parent.[/quote]

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