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[quote=Anonymous]1) A son:   
I know someone with a 29 y.o. son who does this. She's got two older highly functioning kids.  In that case, I think it's because she was widowed when her youngest kid was a young teen, and it hit him hard and he had some mental health issues (bipolar).  In the past he has been suicidal.

So it seems like a combo of her being afraid if she pushes him to be on his own, he will flounder of course, but "floundering" in this situation could mean suicidal behavior.  So she backs down and does pretty much everything for him.

This guy has now fathered two kids with women that he is not committed to.  So my friend is has taken in one woman and baby to live with her.  Her son also lives at home half the time, when he doesn't live with a girlfriend.  He finally has his first job, so that's progress.

I think also in this situation, the mom is hanging on because she was widowed.  It's unhealthy, but serves both of them in some ways.

2)  A daughter:  
I also know someone with a 40+ y.o. DD who lives at home; has a history of depression and the mom works to support both.  Mom doesn't seem happy about it.  This scenario actually scared me and I have made an effort since to make sure my teen DDs are "on track" to leave home.  My older one would probably lie around to be waited on hand and foot for the rest of her life if allowed.[/quote]

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