Reply to adopting a child who is the product of rape

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You are the a-mother. You do not need to tell. Maybe the b-mother will tell.
Worry about it then.
I doubt the agency would pass on information like that if it was a lie. Women really do not need to come up with stories to relinguish a child. It most probably was true because of the b-mother counseling.[/quote]

As a bmother I need to say something about the first sentence.

When the bmom signs her rights away, she is signing her rights away as the parent. Meaning the parents, the adoptive parents, are the ones who should say anything if anything at all. NOT the bmom. My son whom I relinquished IS the product of rape and when I was interviewing prospective parents, one couple told me they would have me tell him when he is old enough. Um, no way. Yes, I will sit down with him and explain in more detail is he really wants that BUT it needs to come from the people who he trusts and KNOWS to be his parents.

And...I would really hope that he is told the truth one way or the other. Being lied to is the worst feeling ever. [/quote]

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