Reply to Is this a never event in a marriage?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Making disparaging/embarrassing/humiliating remarks about your spouse in public is the #1 predictor of divorce.  I think the research is the Gottman Institute (not sure but this is a pretty well-known correlation)[/quote]

That's a symptom of contempt, and contempt is marriage poison. [/quote]

Yes but it isn’t contempt to correct the record. If he can’t speak X at all, it is not contempt to speak up with the truth. [/quote]

It is absolutely contempt to "correct the record" in front of other people, especially about something relatively trivial.

If she didn't hold him in contempt [b]she would have saved her "truthful correction" for the ride home[/b].[/quote]

Uh, what?  You think she should have gently informed him later that he doesn't speak the language? [b][YES - if she cares enough about this issue, which is itself puzzling.][/b]  Are you under the impression that the DH in this scenario somehow is unaware he can't speak the language [b][No, but that's irrelevant. She still unnecessarily showed contempt for him in public. A loving spouse does not do that.][/b], and after she lets him know in private he'll what -- do better next time? [b][Also irrelevant. She's not his mommy or his teacher. It is not her job to correct him in public. In fact that's pretty much the opposite of her job. Spouses are supposed to support each other in public.][/b]

This guy seems weird, and in the story it seems like the wife has had enough. [b][If she has reached the point where she feels compelled to treat him contemptuously in public then that marriage is doomed.] [/b] It also seems like OP thinks women who don't work are essentially worthless and the wife was not performing her duties as arm candy correctly.[b] [It doesn't matter if the wife works or not. It is not her duty to correct her husband in public.][/b] I award everyone involved no points, and my god have mercy on your souls.[/quote][/quote]

I guess I could understand your POV if my husband was a compulsive liar or something.  He's not, so if he just announced that he spoke Portuguese at a dinner party my reaction would be "no you don't."  Not out of contempt but surprise.

Must be strange to be married to someone who lies so much you've convinced yourself it's love to nod along.[/quote]

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