Reply to Please tell me how your borderline 16 year old became a healthier 17, 18, 19 year old

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Reply to "Please tell me how your borderline 16 year old became a healthier 17, 18, 19 year old"

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[quote=Anonymous]Dear OP,

I don't have answers; in fact, my 13 year old is younger than your DD, and she's diagnosed Bipolar with severe generalized anxiety as well as ADHD. In recent years, DD has self-harmed and gone through periods of suicidal ideation.  She has not yet been hospitalized, although her psychiatrist has encouraged me to put her on the waiting list for our local residential program.  She's switched schools as a result of her illness, and she has had horrific days -- but far more good days than bad.

Even though I began by saying I don't have answers, I DO have hope.  Because we have been on track with some of these issues for so long, I can tell you that we have seen many positive changes. For instance, she's much better at articulating what bothers her and at identifying solutions. She knows that she becomes 'emotionally attached' (her words) to objects and stuffed animals and so she won't go in stores or arcades at malls or amusement parks where she'll encounter these -- nor 'adoption fairs' at local pet stores.  She recognizes she can't control spending, so she deliberately doesn't take her debit card with her on some shopping trips and asked me to hold her spending money when we were on vacation.  She'll research certain movies and television shows for awareness about scenes with cruelty to animals to avoid watching to avoid triggers.  (If it sounds like she's repressing herself from being a 13 year old, I would simply, gently say 'perhaps you've not been around a 13 year old grappling with serious mental illness.')  In other words, she's building a tool kit, in addition to modifying her diet, working with her doctor on medicines, and learning more about herself.  She also journals and takes those journals to her therapists and we are looking for a good peer group locally.  She would *like* to use online support, but I'm terribly uneasy about that and long for the day when we can find a safe safety valve for that....

Back to your own needs for yourself, OP.  I hope you will continue to peek in and out of DCUM: it's a great resource, and I hope you can take what's useful and leave the rest. As a sort of spin-off (and perhaps I'll start another thread on this at some point....) What I'd love to see in addition to this thread and DCUM generally would be either an online group or an inperson support group of parents for bipolar or BPD teens....I just feel that we all have so much in common -- I recognize the conditions are very, very different as are the symptoms but the parenting has enough in common that I feel some talking points could be shared.  If anyone knows of anything like this.... I'm not in DC, but an online group or a national one?

But for now and back to you and your DD, OP: good luck.  You're not alone. I realize it feels that way. I know it sometimes feels desperate. I know you're lonely. I can't promise it's going to be okay or that it will get better, but I can promise you have people here who understand and who will be here for you.  Come back when you need us.  We care.  We know you love your DD and that you're longing for it all to be okay for her.  Again, there are people here who will be here, in turn, for you.[/quote]

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