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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, either the girl didn't understand what you were implying, or your dd really was trying to talk her father into something and you really put her friend on the spot and she didn't know how to respond.  She probably had a panic moment like -  oh crap, i don't want to rat on her - not sure what to say.

You are really overrating here.[/quote]

OP here, this is a girl  who is a neighbor and friend for the past 8 years or more. My question was light hearted, thinking the wanted to go to gym/pool/ice cream...The usual stuff.  The stare down of "Ask Her" was aggressive and honestly not "her".  Gotta love puberty.   They had a plan, they targeted DH because he's the softy.  He said no way....Anyway, thank you for your thoughts.  I'm limiting time with this girl.  [/quote]

"Ask her" was the correct response.

She's been a neighbor and friend for the past 8 years or rmore, you didn't like one thing she said, now you're going to try to limit your daughter's time with her? Your daughter who is a teenager?[/quote]

Reading between the lines it sounds like OP was really hurt the girl didn’t engage with her and she wants to lash out.

OP has known this girl for years and probably enjoyed being included in their plans and jokes. OP wanted to giggle with the neighbor girl and talk about the girl’s plans. The neighbor girl wasn’t interested and responded with a curt but not rude “Ask her.” This shut down any notion that OP was one of the girls and still part of her DDs social life. It’s this realization that has OP so angry and wanting cut off contact.

OP is justifying this draconian stance because she saw her daughter joking around with dad so she thinks her daughter is still in the little kid phase where parents are included. It’s easy to mask OPs anger and hurt feelings by painting neighbor girl as growing up too fast or being a bad influence.

Be very careful if you go this route and start ending friendships because your daughters friends don’t want to engage with you. Pretty soon you will likely find out that your daughter behaves the same way with her friends parents. If you guys are all in the same community, you’re going to look ridiculous and your daughter will be the one who is isolated - all because mommy’s feelings were hurt and she needed to lash out.

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