Reply to Stupid things parents of typically developing kids say...

Forum Index » Kids With Special Needs and Disabilities

Reply to "Stupid things parents of typically developing kids say..."

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Aimee4][quote=Anonymous]Yes absolutely many people have the best of intentions. I think it's a great idea for you to start a separate thread about what is helpful to say and feel free to ask people to share their child's diagnosis as well. We have had threads with suggestions before and there are many blogposts giving suggestions for what would be helpful to say to parents of kids with SN. I also think it is very healthy for a bunch of parents of kids with special needs to be able to blow off steam and even laugh about hurtful comments and that is what this thread is for.  [/quote]
I did ask something similar to this a few months back and no one responded.[/quote]
A few others have responded with excellent guidelines and maybe there is no need to add anything, but I'd like to respond to you directly. I don't remember your post but maybe no one answered because it's impossible to come up with a pat response. Children's needs are incredibly varied, and family situations all different, and parents' personalities (and own needs) contrasting. The only way I know to answer you is with general rules: listen, try to empathize, ask what you can do to help, and ask the parents again next time you see them. Remember that we have hopes and expectations for our kids too and we like to share them.

I actually do think most parents of kids with special needs cut well-intentioned people a lot of slack, but sometimes their comments are the most hurtful because they can't be so easily dismissed. I understand that friends/relatives mean to be supportive when they say, "There is absolutely nothing wrong with your kids!" That kind of argument might work great when a high schooler feels like a loser after getting dumped. But when I hear it with respect to me children it frustrates me for so many reasons: besides invalidating my own feelings and struggle (which is really the least of it), such a comment denies my child the support that he requires--without which he is likely to fail. And when my child behaves (predictably given his needs) in an inappropriate way, the blame falls squarely on me (bad parent) or child (bad seed).

In sum, take parents concerns seriously and try to listen and learn.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics