Reply to Do you know people who throw themselves into their jobs to avoid childcare?

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[quote=Anonymous]I've seen it more than once in biglaw but not across the board by any means. It was definitely more guys that did this than women. Typically male mid levels/senior associates. Don't know them personally enough to know what the story was -- either they didn't want kids OR they wanted a family but didn't realize how much work it was/that their wives would expect some involvement until the kids arrived. And then suddenly all of those guys were "going for partner" -- in departments where we didn't have work; no chance of partner etc. But it was a good way to be in the office from 10 am to 10 pm nightly.

Saw it in some of the male partners too -- with them it wasn't even babies so much as just not wanting interaction with their families. They would waste SOOOO much time all day -- walking around, chatting, reading the newspaper etc. and then suddenly at 4 pm they were SOOO busy (you often heard them on the phone telling their wives) and then would stay in the office from 4 pm to 10 pm. Reality is there was nothing going on -- no trial, depos etc. -- so they could've done their work in a 6-8 hr day and gone home but didn't want to.

Didn't really see this in women -- though I do have one female friend who is a junior partner who travels more than necessary. We know each other well though and she's told me that she didn't want kids but her DH did, so they agreed to have one and then the second was an oops. When the kids were babies, she'd be in our NYC office at least 1-2/month for at least 2-3 days (she's DC based and didn't HAVE TO be there). At first it was -- I'm an associate, I HAVE TO show the NYC partners how much I care, need face time with them, am not mommy track. Then she made partner and it was much more "networking" -- yet when she's in NYC she hardly ever goes to events etc. Really it's more being able to get 2-3 night of solid sleep and go out to dinner with friends/socialize. I will say, that has fallen off for her -- maybe it's the DH noticing but moreso I think it's because the kids are school age now and in an easier stage, she doesn't mind going to school plays and soccer and helping with home work. It was the toddler tantrums and diapers she was avoiding.[/quote]

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