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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is a very common theme when a family member gets sober.  Addicts are generally all about themselves when they're using drugs or alcohol and the family suffers for years with their selfishness.  Then, everyone hopes when the addict gets sober, they'll start putting others first again, the "it'll finally be our turn to get some priority" hope.  Unfortunately, in the early days (and sometimes months/years) of sobriety, the addict often need to be just as selfish as they were when they were using to keep themselves sober.  So you go from supporting them when they're shitfaced in the gutter to supporting them when they're gone all the time to meetings.  A lot of families don't make it through because the family members just can't keep putting the addict first and pulling all the weight so the addict can focus on themselves.  [/quote]

The recovering addict is often aware and may feel overwhelmingly guilty for what he's put his family through and for the self-centered recovery process. There's often an imbalance of power. It can take lot of effort of both partners to make the relationship work. 
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