Reply to If you sah how many hours are you off duty of childcare?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Pp, I think the only fair way is for both parents to be “working” in and out of the home the same hours more or less.  It is as unfair to have the SAH on extra duty as it is for the WOH get tossed the kids when he or she walks in the door.  They should both be contributing to the house (but I include cooking differ as part of that, the other should be playing with kids or supervising homework, etc.)

Now if the SAH has kids in school and spends time for themselves during those hours, like gym or hair or whatever, then he or she should take on more evening burden.  Both parents should get some free and some family time together on weekends.[/quote]

Sahm here, and we divide up by who gets free time. 
It’s not about who does more. If we get equal free time, when there are free hours, that’s the most equal we can be. I don’t care what he does / how hard he works when he’s on duty with kids. He has no expectations of me, even though I generally do push myself to work harder. We just notice however hard we do or don’t work, if feels amazing to have free time. So again, that’s how we divide it.

Sorry, I know it may seem obvious. I’m saying it sometimes isn’t obvious. When we focus on who’s ‘working’ what hours, it’s easier to resent each other. So long as free time is even, I don’t care if he works or glides through the day. [/quote]

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