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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Situations like this show how glaringly ignorant people are! I'd be super careful how you have this conversation with your DDs. They're going to physically change so much! You said both DDs are pretty. It doesn't seem like the less "striking" twin is destined to be less striking. She'll likely be just as beautiful, they're just babies at 8 yo.

If it were me I'd continue deflecting people's comments and interrupt quickly with something that fits the narrative. Maybe in a year or two you can help script their own responses to comments, i.e:

Ignorant person: You're so pretty!
Striking twin: I think my sister is prettier! 
Striking twin 2: No she's prettier! 
Striking twin: She's a better artist 
Striking twin 2: She's a better dancer 
and so on...

After first response by striking twin, "I think my sis is prettier" guaranteed the commenter will realize their stupidity and say, "You're both beautiful".[/quote]

I disagree. Mom really has to say something or both kids will assume she agrees with the comments. I still remember, at about age 10, overhearing my parents and aunt and uncle talking about how pretty my sister was. With nary a word about me. It confirmed for me my own thought that sister was much prettier and thinner than me. For years I thought my parents thought I was the ugly, fat, smart one.  At 39 I'm pretty sure they do still think that and it no longer bothers me -- but it sure as hell did until I was almost 30. My sister said she had similar thoughts with regard to intelligence, that I was always praised for my grades and they didn't criticize her but the omission meant she believed they thought she wasn't as smart. Kids hear everything and pick up on everything. If you don't want them to spin it, you need to be explicit.[/quote]

But is it true that your sister is prettier while you are smarter? [/quote]

Sister is definitely prettier. We are about equally smart though I always got much better grades -- but then I worked harder. Different personalities. We have both done well in our careers (law for me, marketing for her).[/quote]

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