Reply to Do you get your adopted child a “Gotcha” gift?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Btw I have also heard of this day referred to as a “traumaversary”.[/quote]

That's absurd.  [/quote]

No it isn't.  The day my child came into my care was the day the police broke down a door and removed her and she saw her bio father arrested.  And if you have ever heard a bio mother cry when parental rights are terminated.you would understand it is not something to celebrate.  [/quote]

Yes, I've done TPR hearings as a professional.  But, when it comes to that, except on a rare occasion, parents had many chances to get it together and the child deserves a family.

There are many kids of adoptions and to lump it all together is absurd.

If you don't agree with adoption, you could have kept your child under guardianship and let the parents maintain their rights.[/quote]

You don’t have to disagree with adoption to acknowledge the trauma.  My kid’s birth mother is dead.  So clearly something horrible happened, and clearly he needed to live with someone else.  I agree that coming into my home was the best of the available choices, and I am glad that adoption gave him permanency.  That doesn’t mean that there wasn’t trauma and loss, even though my child was too young to remember.

The best advice I got was to imagine if his birth mother was my sister.  If my sister died and left a child with no living parent then I would welcome that child, and love that child, and feel grateful that they could be with me and not lost to me, and find a way to build a family that experienced love and joy, but none of that would erase the loss.  And my child would know that I loved him, and was glad he was with me, and also that I wished things could have been otherwise.[/quote]

A lot of our kids have a deceased birthparent.  Not all kids experience that level of trauma and people are projecting.  There are many happy, healthy people who were adopted.[/quote]

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