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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My son’s birthday party is this afternoon. I just got a text from one of the families invited ( Family friends, our kids are the same age) that they aren’t coming... because they decided to visit grandma (local) because she’s depressed - her son, the kids’ uncle - died suddenly last month in her home. Seeing her grandkids makes her happy, so they’re skipping the party today.
 I don’t think it’s healthy for the grandchildren to be used as emotional crutches, especially skipping a party where they would see friends they don’t get to see very often. I’m tempted to text back something to that effect but I don’t want to jeopardize our friendship. 
Would you say anything?
 We’ve got a lot of children coming to the party, so it’s not about the party itself. I just feel bad for the kids that they’re going to miss out on fun and instead have to cheer up grandma,  in the house when their uncle died. 
[/quote]

OP, here's the thing. It's fine to have an opinion. It's fine to come here and say, "my friend is doing this and IMO it's not a good thing." And we can have a discussion about that. I personally don't agree with your conclusion, but sure, it's possible that you are actually right, and the children are "being used" here.

But what you came here to do is different--you came here to ask, "should I share my opinion with my friend?" And here the answer is, unequivocally and unanimously (rare for DCUM!), "NO." You don't have all the information, your opinion wasn't sought, and no one is in imminent danger of abuse or neglect. Presumably, since this is a friend, you are comfortable enough with her parenting on a regular basis that you aren't generally concerned about her children. So the answer to your question is NO. There is no good reason for you to weigh in here, and doing so could compromise your friendship. Keep your opinion to yourself. At the same time, please remember **you don't have all the information** and therefore by definition your opinion on this is ill-informed. [/quote]

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