Reply to Should I travel with my kids to my grandmother’s funeral?

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Should I travel with my kids to my grandmother’s funeral?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A. Of course. I don't think anyone saying B has actually read your full post.[/quote]

I've read every post. I think they are both perfectly valid choices.

OP I would choose B. I have brought young children to three of my grandparents funerals. They have brought happiness to other family members and they serve as rare opportunities for large group family gatherings which are culturally very important in my family. It is also the beginning of a lifelong lesson to my kids that family shows up for funerals and weddings. We always pack up when people need us. Once I was the family people packed up to come and help.

I was going to say A until I saw your update that the estrangement is the choice of your mom and step parent. If you had chosen estrangement to ensure there was no relationship between your mom and children then I think putting you in a situation where there was an ensured interaction would be stressful and detract from the event, but it sounds like the issue is theirs not yours. So I think you should go and let your kids have this bonding experience with your family. Don't let them dictate how you can experience your family. Especially if you want them to have relationships with this side of the family long term. Yes of course the kids won't remember this one event, but if you are the kind of person that shows up to family events, you become the kind of person that has robust relationships with their family. I like to think of this kind of thing as a cumulative memory. They won't remember this funeral at 20, but they will remember it next year when you're at something else with Uncle Max and Aunt Abby and so they'll be warmer and have a better visit. And that will result in a relationship when they are young that will translate into a relationship when they are older.

I really think there is nothing wrong with A though in these circumstances, and I am the person that ALWAYS goes to the funeral and for family ALWAYS brings the kids. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics