Reply to One year after I ended my affair and I’d appreciate hearing from those who BTDT

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "One year after I ended my affair and I’d appreciate hearing from those who BTDT"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]OP, I suggest you post this question on reddit/adultery forum.  You will find much more sympathetic ears than this place.

I was in a brief "affair" (quotes because it was in setting of an experiment with open marriage which failed miserably) -- as in one month -- that ended a couple months ago and I am in the same boat.  The guy I had the affair with, though amazing in bed, is an absolute scumbag.  Like the worst of the worst and would make an awful partner and treated me like shit.  It doesn't matter.  I am pining for him as if I were a school girl longing for her first love.  The thing is before this I WAS happily married.  That's the irony.  My husband and I had and continue to have good sex.  But it's not the same because it isn't new!  The reasons for the experimentation are too long to get into here but weren't thoughtfully considered.  Some impulsive actions led to this awful awful foray and I deeply regret it.

As others have said, these feelings have pretty much NOTHING to do with our AP's and everything to do with ones feeling about oneself and one's life circumstances.  Your AP is your fantasy projected onto him.  I too am bored with the rut of child-rearing and nothing compares to the dopamine rush that comes with new relationship energy.  It must be similar to coming off cocaine. It truly hurts me to my core.

So for you, I would recommend individual therapy.  Raising children together is SO hard and not romantic or exciting.  Work with a therapist to fix you and your outlook.  
You married your husband for a reason -- try to revisit what drew you to him in the first place.

Good luck.  I hope for both of us we can find peace!
[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics