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[quote=Anonymous]My DH was similar when our only child was younger. He would go off to play golf or whatever for a full day, but if I went to run some errand by myself he’d be constantly calling me asking when I would be home. I think it was due to two reasons: 1. He’d rather be relaxing or doing whatever he wanted to do rather than dealing with an infant, toddler or preschooler. 2. Insecurity and not thinking he could handle things on his own.

He would try to pin me down to a time when I’d return and would get annoyed when I wouldn’t tell him an exact time or didn’t arrive home by that exact time. I finally told him I wouldn’t give him a time just to appease him and he could deal. He also would call my parents and ask them to watch DS if I had plans so that I didn’t get time away and he didn’t. He got plenty of time off—he just would think if I was “off” then he should be off too.

It has gotten better as DS has gotten older and much more independent. DH is still very tit for tat and counts beans. If I have a girls night then he’s on the phone that evening planning his next outing. We have a group of friends and trade off guys trips and girls trips with a few couples trips as well. I’m more of a homebody so as long as I get to do what I want to do when it’s important to me then I don’t really care what DH does.

It is a bad dynamic and you can’t let him take advantage of you because he will. He’s probably overwhelmed and would prefer to not deal with it so he just expects you to deal with it. It’s a big part of the reason we didn’t have another kid. [/quote]

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