Reply to I'm not sure where to post this, but how do I become a more empathetic mother?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A few things OP...

1) Reading Janet Lansbury has really helped me with this.  I actually re-read parts of No Bad Kids every few months when I feel like I'm getting frustrated and/or angry too often.
2) Model for your kids.  When you realize what's happening, immediately say something like: "I'm getting so frustrated.  I just really need a minute to take a deep breath and calm down."  Then later, you can apologize to them if appropriate and try to explain what happened.
3) We all lose it from time to time.  Parenting young kids is hard.  Give yourself a break and know that getting frustrated that your kid is throwing a tantrum about what socks he wants to wear doesn't make you a bad mom.  It just makes you human.[/quote]

I completely agree on No Bad Kids.. it helped me to understand why my kids were acting the way they were and that they were struggling to control their emotions and not sociopaths. 
I'm not always empathetic to their moods but do my best to fake it and I think that does wonders for calming the situation. 
And when you can't get a handle on their emotions or your own, walk away, take a breath and come back. 
[/quote]

Also came here to post about Janet Lansbury! I also like how a big piece of her philosophy is about [b]setting your own boundaries as a parent [/b]and not completely surrendering yourself to the role of Mom. Those of us who grew up with inconsistent or unstable parents often swing back in the other direction and become overinvolved and obsessed with trying to be everything for our kids (like the codependent kids of narcissists a pp mentioned). [/quote]

Again, the problem of unempathetic mothers is that they have boundaries that are too rigid.  I didn't hear PP say she's overinvolved.  [/quote]

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