Reply to I'm not sure where to post this, but how do I become a more empathetic mother?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A few things OP...

1) Reading Janet Lansbury has really helped me with this.  I actually re-read parts of No Bad Kids every few months when I feel like I'm getting frustrated and/or angry too often.
2) Model for your kids.  When you realize what's happening, immediately say something like: "I'm getting so frustrated.  I just really need a minute to take a deep breath and calm down."  Then later, you can apologize to them if appropriate and try to explain what happened.
3) We all lose it from time to time.  Parenting young kids is hard.  Give yourself a break and know that getting frustrated that your kid is throwing a tantrum about what socks he wants to wear doesn't make you a bad mom.  It just makes you human.[/quote]

PP, would you consider yourself unempathetic, or just someone who loses patience?  As someone in the more "unempathetic" camp, I find Janet Lansbury to be useless.  My issue is not losing patience or getting angry, but rather a tendence to disconnect from people in general that can unfortunately impact my parenting as well.  Lansbury really seems to push interacting with your children in an unnatural way that does not foster connection.  Obviously if your issue is losing patience and screaming at your kid, she may have better tips.  But to create genuine CONNECTION, there is no one set of magic words or behaviors.  Taking a break can be another way to isolate yourself.  The only parenting advice I've found that helps is Stanley Greenspan and other writers who emphasize getting on your kids wavelength in a physical and emotional way (kind of definition of empathy.)  I don't need RIE to tell me to promote independent play or whatever.  I know how to do that!  [/quote]

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